Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
