Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
