you will always have a special place in my vag
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
