You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
