the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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