trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
