I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
