I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
