My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
