hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
