Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
