I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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