it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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