what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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