Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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