the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Two words: nipple clamps
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