You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
