Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
MIDGETS
????
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
