every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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