I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
