Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
