i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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