In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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