I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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