I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
