try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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