I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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