I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
