I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
