doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
