Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
