Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
