you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
