I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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