dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
