having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
