My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
