An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize