i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
pop tarts are not kleenex
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
