We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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