Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
