The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
