you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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