Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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