Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize