I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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