Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's the barista slut.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
