k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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