Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
