Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
