Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
