JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize