the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize