You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
