She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
