He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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