Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
