And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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