that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we should paint friendship bongs
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
